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View Full Version : Don't You Miss The Iraqi Info Minister?


grey
April 13th, 2003, 08:07 AM
Check this out.


www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com

xricci
April 13th, 2003, 10:07 AM
From the LATE SHOW's TOP TEN...

Top Ten Things Iraq's Information Minister Has To Say About The War

10. "We're pulling down the statues of Saddam to have them cleaned"

9. "Don't believe that stuff you see on CNN...or NBC, CBS, ABC, Fox or MSNBC"

8. "If you ask me who the winner is, it depends on what your definition of 'is' is"

7. "Iraqi television is off the air because we didn't want you to have to sit through 'Becker'"

6. "Do you know of any job openings for a lying weasel?"

5. "Wolf Blitzer and I are engaged"

4. "Iraqis are in the streets celebrating Cher's 40 fabulous years in show business"

3. "Incoming!"

2. "Saddam's not dead -- he's just out with a case of the shingles"

1. "War? What war?"

xricci
April 13th, 2003, 11:05 AM
The site above is down for a few days; the webmaster is retooling it with a shopping cart. :p

From Yahoo...

Too Many People Love Iraqi Information Minister

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - People around the world have taken a unique liking to the public relations stylings of former Iraqi information minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf. Too many people, apparently.

A Web site that sprang up on Thursday called Welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com was quickly forced offline as a rush of global interest drew as many as 4,000 requests a second for the page.

With his trademark beret and sly smile, Sahaf became a cult figure on television with his daily briefings, appearing from behind a sea of microphones as he condemned the American "infidels" and often flatly denied what viewers around the world saw unfolding on their TV screens.

Kieran Mulvaney, a writer based in Alaska who set up the Web site, told Reuters on Friday that he has been inundated with requests for interviews from the likes of CNN and the BBC.
Mulvaney, who is writing a book on global warming, said he has also had unsolicited requests to sponsor the Web pages that started as a joke for he and his friends.

He said the new version of the site, due to debut on Saturday, will make money from the sale of trinkets like T-shirts and aprons.
In keeping with the tongue-in-cheek theme of the site, the aprons will bear one of the now-disappeared Sahaf's most popular catch phrases: "God will roast their stomachs in hell."

catesta
April 13th, 2003, 12:05 PM
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/39061000/jpg/_39061593_min-ap-203body.jpg

"I'm gonna want royalties!"

Hardbop
April 13th, 2003, 09:31 PM
Anyone see the spoof of this guy Leno ran on his show? The info minister (an actor) was saying "The U.S. isn't within 100 miles of Baghdad and at that moment the statue of Saddam comes crashing down on his head." I was in stitches.

Joel
April 13th, 2003, 09:57 PM
I saw the Leno bit, that was funny.


http://www.smh.com.au/ffxImage/urlpicture_id_1049567846825_2003/04/11/control.jpg

"We have imprisoned them in their tanks." - IIM

"God will roast their stomachs in hell at the hands of Iraqis"

"Our initial assessment is that they will all die"

Ron Thorne
April 14th, 2003, 12:58 AM
Leave it to a clever writer in our fair city to come up with this brainchild. I thought I'd share the genesis of this website, which now has a life of its own. Amazing.


Alaskan gains a bit of fame spoofing Iraqi official online - Information minister has lovable detachment from reality



By DEBRA McKINNEY
Anchorage Daily News

(Published: April 12, 2003)

Although the admiration does not appear to be mutual, Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf has reached cult status among Americans for imparting such gems as Bush and Rumsfeld "only deserve to be hit with shoes," and "(Americans) have started to commit suicide under the walls of Baghdad. We will encourage them to commit more suicides quickly."

He's got a Web site now. T-shirt sales are booming. Same for the coffee cup: "No American will ever pour coffee into this mug! Never!" Which leaves one to wonder if action figures could be far behind.

Anchorage writer Kieran Mulvaney is among the masterminds behind www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com and its accompanying online store. It all started after he and a handful of friends across the country, who had been e- mailing each other with outrageous quotes of the day, realized they had a little fan club going.

"I mean it really kicked it up a notch when the Americans arrived at the airport and he was just so in denial," Mulvaney said. " 'There are no Americans anywhere near Baghdad!' And he just became more and more brazen. Even when reporters could practically see the Americans on the other side of the Tigris, he was like: 'No! They are in the desert and we are slaughtering them all!' "

Mulvaney suggested a Web site. Within hours, one of his "co-conspirators" had the site up and running with a collection of quotes from the minister, as well as some he would likely have said at pivotal moments of other famous battles, including Gettysburg, Waterloo, the Alamo and the Little Big Horn: "God willing, they will scalp themselves before we do it for them."

They launched it by sending a message to all the friends and colleagues in their address books, then sat back and waited to see what would happen. The thing exploded. Or, as the minister himself would explain, it wasn't a real explosion, just "a container" being dropped to produce "a very huge sound."

Whatever it was, e-mails started pouring in from all over the world. Hundreds of them. And the site got so many hits so fast, it literally got knocked out.

"We had the idea on Tuesday, went live with it on Wednesday and now here we are," Mulvaney said, "there's so much traffic I can't even get on the site.

"It's insane. I mean, you should see our store. We have a barbecue apron now: 'God will roast their stomachs in hell.' "

On the Web page, Mulvaney and his friends describe themselves as a "coalition effort of bloodthirsty hawks and ineffectual doves united in admiration for Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, Iraqi Minister of Information (currently on administrative leave)."

The minister hasn't been seen since Tuesday. As troops marched into Baghdad, with smoke billowing in the background, he faced reporters one more time: "I now inform you that you are too far from reality." He then disappeared.

"He's probably cowering in some bunker somewhere wondering what's happened to his life and his world view," Mulvaney said. "And here we are making money off of him. We should send him a complimentary barbecue apron."

This "ludicrous little enterprise" started off as a joke among friends. Even the T-shirts weren't serious until people made it known they really wanted them.

Mulvaney and his pals were still just laughing about it all when yet another e-mail flashed upon his computer screen:

"Call me please. I'm from Reuters."

"That's when I realized, 'Oh, oh."

As of Friday afternoon, Mulvaney and his cohorts had been interviewed by radio, television and print reporters from the London Daily Telegraph to Reuters to CNN.

Mulvaney, the 35-year-old author of "At the Ends of the Earth: A History of the Polar Regions" and soon-to-be-released "The Whaling Season," had planned to spend this week in his quiet little cottage in Bootleggers Cove, writing a piece on global warming in the Arctic. Instead he's spent his days dealing with the barrage of calls and media attention. He even had to cut short an interview with CBS Radio Network when his cordless phone ran out of juice.

"If I could get a 10th of this much publicity for the real work I do, I'd be really happy," he said.

Thursday evening, as Mulvaney sat in front of his computer wondering if he'd ever get his life back, yet another e-mail flashed on his screen, this one from his next door neighbor, wondering why he couldn't get on the site. A few minutes later, he got this message explaining it:

"In less than one hour of our advertising its existence this morning, our server was put out of commission by traffic bigger than anything we have ever seen. It only took 15 minutes to exceed your monthly bandwidth allowance ..."

At one point, the site got 4,000 hits per second, overwhelming the server and knocking it offline for eight hours. The company that hosted the site pulled the plug.

After switching to its own server, the site was expected to be up and running again by today. There, you'll find among the ditties:

"Listen, this explosion does not frighten us any longer. The cruise missiles do not frighten anyone. We are catching them like fish in a river."

"We made them drink poison last night and Saddam Hussein's soldiers and his great forces gave the Americans a lesson which will not be forgotten by history. Truly."

"It has been rumored that we have fired scud missiles into Kuwait. I am here to tell you, we do not have any scud missiles and I don't know why they were fired into Kuwait."

"Every one is its own mini-classic," Mulvaney said.

"The great thing is, this will last like a week tops, and then everyone will be on to the next Internet craze. But it will just be a great ride while it happens."

Daily News reporter Debra McKinney can be reached at dmckinney@adn.com.

http://www.adn.com/images/images/260790-sty.jpg
Kieran Mulvaney speaks with one of his Outside colleagues as they marvel at the wild popularity of their Web site. The tongue-in-cheek site devoted to Mohammed Saeed al- Sahhaf was receiving 25,000 hits an hour. (Photo by Erik Hill / Anchorage Daily News)

http://www.adn.com/images/images/260813-sty.jpg
Anchorage writer Kieran Mulvaney's Web site shows how Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf might have reported famous battles throughout history. (Photo by Erik Hill / Anchorage Daily News)

catesta
April 14th, 2003, 05:52 PM
http://www.balloon-juice.com/03images/blackknight.jpg

Dan Gould
April 16th, 2003, 06:48 AM
From ESPN's "Page 2" :D

A real YES man
By Jim Caple
Page 2 columnist


Editor's note: Iraqi information minister Mohammad Saeed Al-Sahhaf gained infamy in recent weeks for defiant proclamations that often ran 180 degrees opposite of reality. What career might await such a man in the post-Saddam world? Page 2 speculates ...


"It is high! It is far! It is gone! Another six-run homer for the Yanks!"
MICHAEL KAY: Hello, Yankees fans, and welcome to another night of exciting Yankees baseball, with Andy Pettite and the Bronx Bombers taking on Pedro Martinez and the Red Sox in a meeting between the greatest rivals in sports. In addition to the great game, we have a special treat for you tonight. Joining me in the booth is my new broadcast partner and the newest member of the YES crew, Mohammad Saeed Al-Shahhaf, the former Iraqi information minister.

SAEED AL-SAHHAF: Good evening, infidels! Praise Steinbrenner!

KAY: I must say, Mohammad, it's a beautiful night for baseball.

SAEED AL-SAHHAF: I swear to you by all that is holy that the moon will run crimson with the blood of the Boston infidels before this night is over! Already, the indomitable Yankees lead by seven runs, and the corrupt Red Sox are fleeing the stadium! They have forfeited the game and are returning to their homes to lick their wounds like the pathetic curs they are! Run like the wind, you stooges of western imperialism, and take your odor with you! You should never have stepped foot in our kingdom! Your arrogance has sealed your doom and condemned your children and your children's children to lives of slavery!

KAY: Well, we certainly hope that's the way it turns out tonight, Mohammad, but actually, we're still waiting for the managers to exchange lineup cards. ...

[LATER IN THE GAME]


Jason Giambi admires the Mother of All Home Runs.
SAEED AL-SAHHAF: Welcome back, infidels! The great Jason Giambi has just hit the Mother of All Home Runs and the indomitable Yankees have extended their lead to 12-3 over the outlaw Red Sox, chasing that most despicable of creatures, Pedro Martinez, from the mound! Retreat to the showers, you foul hurler, you malodorous tyrant! You shame your ancestors and defile the sacred Yankee Stadium soil!

KAY: I think you misspoke slightly there, Mohammad. The Yankees actually trail Pedro and the Red Sox by a score of 7-1 here in the bottom of the fifth. But here's some good news for Yankees fans. The Devil Rays beat the Blue Jays by a score of 5-3 this afternoon, which puts Toronto 9½ games behind the Yankees.

SAEED AL-SAHHAF: The enemy of my enemy is my friend! Praise Steinbrenner!

KAY: And that reminds me Mohammad, there still are great seats remaining for the Yankees' series with the Orioles during the next homestand.

SAEED AL-SAHHAF: Keep your rainchecks handy, infidels -- I personally guarantee you the series will not take place! The world will see! The cowardly birds will not dare to invade our borders!

KAY: We also should mention the great promotion the Yankees have for the series after that.

SAEED AL-SAHHAF: It is true! In a humbly insufficient tribute to our great and brave leader -- praise Steinbrenner! -- the Yankees will give away solid gold idols in the image of the mighty Boss! Hand-sculpted, each is valued at $30,000 yet will be distributed freely without obligation to the first 200,000 fans attending next Saturday's game with Minnesota! These are truly heirlooms that will demand a place of honor in the homes of all Yankees fans!

KAY: Actually, I think it's Jorge Posada bobblehead night but it's still a swell giveaway. ...

[STILL LATER IN THE GAME]


The Yankees' might will smite this infidel from New England.
SAEED AL-SAHHAF: Bernie steps back into the box as all New York holds its breath ... the war criminal Martinez peers in for the sign ... he winds and delivers ... swung on and belted deep to left! It's going ... going ... and it's gone! ORDER THE SERVANTS TO ROAST THE FATTED CALF AND LAY OUT THE SATIN SHEETS, THE VESTAL VIRGINS HAVE ENTERED THE PALACE!!!! The Yankees lead is 12 runs and Martinez has collapsed on the mound! BOO-YAH!!!

KAY: Actually Mohammad, I think that was a called third strike on Giambi. And it leaves the score 14-2 in favor of Boston with the bases empty and the Yankees down to their final out. Mohammad, I guess it's just not the Yankees night.

SAEED AL-SAHHAF: We have the infidels just where we want them! Manager Joe Torre has cleverly led the scarlet-hosed stooges into a noose from which there is no escape! The Red Sox child general manager Epstein has dispatched his players on a suicide mission! We shall humble this New England gang of villains and leave their bones to dry in the desert sun as a warning to our enemies! Praise Steinbrenner!

KAY: Yes, well, I guess that's like Yogi said, It ain't over 'til it's over. Anyway, here's the pitch ... Matsui swings and pops it up ... Garciaparra is under it and ... he squeezes it for the final out. And that's the old ballgame.

SAEED AL-SAHHAF: The Yankees win! Thaaaaa-aaaa-aaaa-aaaa-aaaa Yankees win!

Jazzmoose
April 16th, 2003, 07:21 AM
:D Absolutely priceless!!

catesta
April 16th, 2003, 09:02 AM
:D :D :D

Muskrat Ramble
April 18th, 2003, 10:13 AM
http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/meast/04/18/offbeat.iraq.dolls.reut/index.html :)

jazzmusicianssister
April 21st, 2003, 12:26 PM
http://www.maggister.com/bigups.jpg

catesta
April 21st, 2003, 04:42 PM
:D :D