Spouses/GFs/BFs: can they relate to your love for music???

[KolumBUZZ]

Simple question really: do you find that it's been hard to meet someone who can relate to your passion for music, or no? And is it frustrating to you that your spouse/GF/BF, doesn't, or do you really care? This should be an interesting dialogue.

[Pete B]

I had the good fortune to marry a woman whose father is an amateur jazz musician who plays in a number of local big bands. She was brought up on swing & mainstream jazz, and she learned how be a gig widow at her mother's knee. She doesn't want to hear Ornette around the house (although she will tolerate it on occasion) but Prez or Hawk or Basie she likes just fine. She'll go to most shows with me, and will even come to my gigs every once in awhile.

[Bag's Groove]

Well seeing as how my spouse/girlfriend at the moment is a shiny gold Yamaha trumpet resting on the mantle, I'd have to say the answer to that question is yes :D

[markvi]

either my wife really likes jazz or she's been a great sport for the past 33 years. i drag her everywhere to hear music and she hasn't complained yet. i, on the other hand, refuse to attend horse shows.

[clifton]

I've been married for 22 years. My wife is not a jazz fanatic but she does enjoy Duke, Basie, Bird, Diz, and is OK with hard bop. She draws the line at Ornette, Cecil, AEOC, etc. However, she understands how much I love the music and makes no effort to curb my CD habit. When I played she went to all my gigs.

[DWBass]

It's funny because my wife likes music but does not play music at home. Only in the car! As for 'my' music and bass playing, I don't think she has much interest in it although she does support me and my excursions!

[bombastic]

I put on "Om" and my wife stabbed me in the heart. :eek:

[ebrew]

I don't think it is requirement but it definitely helps considering the amount of time we have to put in for practice. Even if they don't like jazz - if they recognize that it is something you are passionate about they respect that -- it's all good.

I sometimes worry that my wife is going to get poed at the hours I put in behind the trumpet but she's totally cool with it. Her take on it is I could doing much worse with my free time.

She has definitely developed an appreciation for jazz. I used to try and have deep discussions with her about what musicians where doing but that usually got blank stares. I've condensed my comments to things like "This is a really cool solo."

[clifton]

I wrote a fairly decent tune and named it for my wife. That made things a lot easier, especially when we played the tune on my gigs.

[mickey/lynn]

Originally posted by David Gitin
I wouldn't go out with anyone who didn't love music, but which music? My last girlfriend was big on 'world music,' (called my jazz favorites 'headache music' and 'screaming saxophones.' Another girl was into alternative rock. Ex-wife became a jazz fan and still loves Sonny Stitt, Milt Jackson, etc. but wouldn't go with me to hear Cecil Taylor. I don't blame her..:)

[jazzbluescat]

I've found that they are more tolerant than anything of your passion . I mean, she'll respect you, but be tolerant of your music.
You can't like everything about her either, so tolerance is cool.

[Andy D]

I think most of the people I meet have a passion for music in one form or another, As for my passion for jazz, well that is a different thing and few of the people I know, my wife and children included can understand this.

They see/hear jazz as discordant music that makes little sense to them, this feeling is amplified when I listen or suggest that they listen to Coltrane or Ornette Coleman for example. I recall I gave a psychiatrist friend of my Coltrane at the Village Vanguard. Now he was into 'Alternative Rock' and had a wide musical taste, but he found the Coltrane music very difficult and did not like it.

My wife likes people like Robbie Williams, my daughter various pop groups and my sons like rap, so jazz well it is not that well received. Having said that they often by me jazz CD's or book on Fathers Day, Birthdays and Xmas.

I have the EST Concert on DVD on my Xmas list;)

Regards

Andy D.

[aquabenz]

My girlfriend likes jazz in the live setting. She can't really get too into listening to my jazz discs in the car or at home, unless it's more vocal-based stuff like Jobim or Kurt Elling. She's a lot less into "Cat and Mouse" by Abercrombie or any of the other ECM and Hathut records I generally put in when I'm driving on my own. She has her own musical tastes and we give and take as necessary to keep each other's insanity at bay.

Justin

P.S. Whoever listens to records like "Om" should definitely get a good set of earphones because that can get people riled really quickly. One time, I put on Chicago's first album at work and when it got to the guitarist's "Free Form Guitar" track (7 minutes of feedback and noise), the boss almost tossed the stereo into a pot of boiling water.